They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
