I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
