Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
