how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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