i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
And the cops told us we were all naked.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
