using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
