i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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