he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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