Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
