What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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