How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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