Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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