..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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