i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You are a genius and a whore.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
