Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
