Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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