I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
