She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
