You surviving the open bar?
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Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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