I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
