whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
