How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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