Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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