that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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