i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
