which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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