birth control should be required to get into college
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
