I feel like abortions should bother me more
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
