What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
