Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
