his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
