I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
