Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize