What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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