Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
