Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Where is the hickey?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize