so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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