Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
