I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
