I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize