I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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