mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I love you. Go after that dick
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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