I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize