Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
wrigley field is MILF paradise
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
