yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Randomize
