is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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