tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize