Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
