That's when you crack a 10am beer
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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