there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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