I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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