Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize