So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
