I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
