you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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