Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize