Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
