he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
