He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
