id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
