New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize